Somebody Make A Play!

…or we're gonna have a panic attack.

Get Jacked Up

July 21, 2010 Posted by | Pigskin | 1 Comment

2010 Conference Predictions

Let’s take a quick look at Richie Panic Attack’s 2010 Conference Champion Predictions. ..

Big 12 ChampionOklahoma Sooners

After Bradford’s injury, Landry Jones stepped in and got tons of experience under his belt.  Look for him to torch big 12 defenses all year-long.  I expect Texas to have a rough year with the departure of Colt and some key members of their defense from a year ago.  We will be grinding out some 21+ point spreads on the Sooner’s in conference play this season.

Pac 10 Champion USC Trojans

Yes they have a new coach but with Masoli suspended and Gerhart gone I don’t see a real threat to The Trojans.  Plus Barkley now has a year under his belt with plenty of weapons around him.  Let’s just pray, the one bull shit conference game they do decide to blow, (Stanford, Washington) that we have our money tied up in The Sunbelt.

SEC ChampionAlabama Crimson Tide

I miss Tebow all ready.  Despite my hatred for Nick Satan he is one hell of a coach and should have Bama back in the SEC title game.  With Jesus Christ off the Gator’s sidelines and a head coach who apparently has more panic attacks than I do, I can’t see myself throwing cash Florida’s way like seasons past.

Big TenOhio State Buckeyes

I don’t know who has a lower IQ Terrelle Pryor or Warren from There’s Something About Mary.   If Vince Young can get away with it why can’t Pryor?  I am going to lean hard on his athleticism all year-long.  I can’t wait to smash them against the league’s biggest homo – Tate Forcier and the Wolverines.  Remember I said that…

“Franks and Beans!”

Big East- Pittsburgh Panthers

As much as I will root for UCONN football this season, Dion Lewis is an OG.  Nothing like watching “The Stache” call 12 running plays in a row while you grind out a fourth quarter victory.  Easy money baby!

ACC- Virgina Tech Hokies

Va Tech will be reppin the best rushing attack in college football.  I like Miami’s talent this year but the defensive side of the ball is not where it needs to be to compete against the Hokie’s rushing attack.  If Ryan Williams can stay healthy he will have a shot at Heisman this year.  He is that good.

WAC- Boise State Broncos

Chris Peterson and his aliens should cruise to another easy conference championship.  If they pull off a win against Va Tech they will be seriously considered for a shot at the BCS Title.  If this scenario plays out I wonder if coach Peterson will let Tom Cruise give the pregame speech.

Conference USA- Houston Cougars

You think they can score 100 points in a game this year?  I say they get close.  Case Keenum will throw for over 600 yards in a losing effort only once this year as Houston completes their run at a conference championship.  Those unders are tempting when set at 84 points, but buyer beware - this offense is out of this world (particularly against Conference USA defenses).

Mountain West- TCU Horned Frogs

It will only be 3 weeks into the season before me and Mason go to blows during a drunken argument about how underrated TCU is.  They are definitely a fan favorite these days but I think large spreads in conference play will end up biting us in the ass this year.  Watch out for RLM while the public smash The Horned Frogs.

Sun Belt- Troy State Trojans

OHHHHHH YEAAAAAA…The money makers.  While it may be exciting to bet on the televised marquee matchups week in and week out, the real money lies in the Sun Belt.  I call it gambling’s best kept secret.  Let the bookmakers browse over those games while I smash them like Gallagher does a watermelon.  If you see me randomly screaming “Yahtzee” after staring down at  my phone at 10 pm in a bar it’s not because I’m getting laid that night.  It’s because Troy just scored to go up 50.  Thank you very little!

See you all soon with Week 1 lines and picks.  Until then I’ll try to control my tremors…

July 20, 2010 Posted by | Pigskin | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment

   

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